I am waiting for the day that I can meet a fat and jolly doctor who says something like: “Go on, have a drink or two daily, eat whatever you want and exercise – yes, yes, that’s important, do some light stretching in bed when you wake up, and that’ll be enough.”

My Dr., unfortunately, is ever more despondent than the stereotype: he is sour-faced and glum, with a nervous tic above his left eye and a way of avoiding eye-contact that makes you break out into a cold sweat in anticipation of impending doom.

“Your cholesterol is way too high. How old are you again, tch-tch, too high for your age”, he said a few weeks ago during a routine check-up. “You should eat healthy –  sugar, salt, raw foods, fried foods and any milk products – all to be avoided completely. Best for you that way, tch-tch.”

I looked away, and then said in a quavering, defiant voice, “How bad can it be, I exercise often and feel quite fit.”

“Bad, bad. Pukka renal failure if you continue drinking that free coke you get in office,” he said, changing the subject. “One thing before you leave – eat oats in the morning, six-seven times a week, will be good for your bowel movements. Make payment outside, 500 Rs., and don’t forget – six-seven times, oats, otherwise pukka rectal disorders also, not only renal failure!”

The prognosis of rectal disorders due to lack of oats in my diet was scary. Even scarier was the vision of my slurping mushy and tasteless horse-food each morning and then overexerting my delicate posteriors. As long as I can remember, I’ve hated cereal of any kind – oats, dhalia, kanji and even the more fancy Kelloggs – all of these have been bucketed during childhood in my brain as a poor substitute for a real breakfast, to be made messily by dad when mom was out of town. What kind of breakfast is bland and cold anyway? Real breakfast, best breakfast is idli-dosa, served hot with spicy chutneys and steaming sambar!

I walked back home, deep in thought. Then, in a sudden flash of uncharacteristic resourcefulness and optimism I thought, “Well, there’s got to be something tasty that can be made out of oatmeal!”. The very next day, I experimented with making oatmeal pancakes, you can find the recipe below. I ate the pancakes with a yogurt – banana – honey syrup, and honestly, it was quite edible, and made me feel healthy too!

Prognosis? More oatmeal pancakes for breakfast in the offing…

Oatmeal Pancakes with yoghurt-banana-honey syrup

• For the pancakes:
• 1/2 cup flour
• 1 cup oats
• 1 egg
• 4 table spoons milk
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• Some olive oil
• Salt to taste
• Directions: Beat the egg, milk and Olive oil together. Stir the other ingredients in a large bowl and mix in the egg/milk/oil mixture. Let stand for 5 minutes. Heat a skillet and make your pancakes!
• For the syrup: Beat 1/2 cup yoghurt, along with honey. Mix in diced bananas and almonds.
• Serve: Serve the pancakes with the syrup, and go “Yummy… it’s edible!”